“If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands…”The premise of this call and response ditty is to check for happiness in the singer.

But is the pursuit of happiness as simple as moving your body to the beat of a childhood song? If so our workplaces and homes would be filled with throngs of people singing and clapping to drown out their discontent.

As a girl who  sang every song on Prince’s “When Dove’s Cry” album in the 8th grade to kick sadness out of her life, music can be the change agent to drive away the blues and turn your sad frown upside down.

Regret is a powerful emotion.

Its roots are in the past, but if the regret is unmonitored, this residue of unhappiness will direct and affect every step you take in the future. As the emotion that bubbles to the surface of your psyche, during the aftermath of a broken heart, regret makes you want to change the past which is not only daunting, but impossible.

However, I do have a mend-your-broken-heart-solution. As a young 18 year old girl, I was fortunate to learn a powerful phrase from a wise educator in Atlanta that forever helped me to reconcile my past, forgive others and move on.

Can’t shake the feelings of excitement when Mr. Player President calls you or the heart-palpitating make up sex after your fights? Addicted to the mixture of enjoyment and embarrassment you receive as the “booty call girl” on speed dial?

Girlfriend, I hear you loud and clear.

Maybe you didn’t have an example of a positive male and female relationship in your home. Or find yourself unconsciously attracted to all types of bad boy shenanigans. I can relate to your dating dilemmas.

Been there. Done that. Got the T-Shirt. And threw the T-shirt in the GARBAGE.

I used to think that the day a man told me he loved me; it meant that our love was here to stay. (Can’t you hear the orchestra playing and Ella Fitzgerald singing as you read this?)

Throughout the course of my almost 40 years of living on this earth, I’ve heard these three words whispered in my ears so sweetly by the men in my life.,“I love you Mechele.”

In which I would quickly and ceremoniously respond to their empty words, I love you too… J, the narcissistic, ego maniacal and pimp in the pulpit preacher, T, the sarcastic and condescending pseudo-Renaissance man and S the know-it-all, game-playing medical doctor.

If there is one life-changing thing that I would tell my 18 year old self, it would be the following: “Honey, whatever you are willing to accept in life is what you get.”

That’s right ladies; everything you have or don’t have is based upon what you are tolerating.

No more blaming others for your shortcomings.

No more whining and complaining about any lack in your life.

No more saying to yourself that you can’t find a good man, good job or good pair of sexy stilettos that don’t hurt your feet. (Well,  I’m still working on the comfortable high heel situation myself.)