Have you heard this pathetic line during a breakup? “I really love you/like you but we can’t be together anymore. But you are going to make someone a wonderful wife.” Like this statement is some parting gift that will soothe the wound of embarrassment and loss planted into your breaking heart.

I’m a hopeless romantic. So I used to believe this hopeless crock of Sugar-Honey-Iced-Tea running loosely from the mouths of my former boyfriends. Now that my husband has helped me to heal my broken heart, 1 million times over, I can see the meaning of these words clearly.

Ex-boyfriend. Ex-lover.

Ex-jumpoff. Ex-coworker.

Ex-enemy. Ex-friend.

Ex-buddy. Ex-husband.

Are you constantly thinking about your Exes? Wondering if they’re thinking about you? Hate to burst your perfect bubble, but they’re not.

I assure you that the dreamy reunion you’re hoping to revisit won’t be pleasant. I think of all of my Exes as rocket fuel - particularly the bad ones. They’re the indispensable power source required to launch you into the stratosphere of success, but should never be used again when considering a safe and secure landing.

Helping people when you are a people pleaser is like crack to a crack head; rescuing the helpless is a pleaser’s drug of choice.

Consider ambulance-chasing lawyers searching hungrily for the next accident victim to take to the promise land of insurance riches; the barristers’ motives for money are masked by the rush to aid the injured.

We frown upon these types of people, who take advantage of the weak and helpless, but people pleasers are no different. People pleasers often swoop down upon the emotionally injured like superheroes saving the weak and innocent.

“Be master of your petty annoyances and conserve your energies for the big, worthwhile things. It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out - it’s the grain of sand in your shoe.” Robert Service (1874 - 1958)

Petty is as petty does. Pretty is a better alternative.

Mr. Service says that the trivial and the petty are the enemy of the pretty. Focusing on who doesn’t like us or whether we can afford to buy a new trifle at the mall, is a waste of precious time. This behavior is petty and sets up feelings of worthlessness and limits.

Divorce. Abandonment. Molestation. Poverty. Child abuse. Life-threatening illness. Rape. Cancer. Death or Murder of a parental figure.

If you experienced any of these challenges as a child, it sucked.

I myself can check a few of these situations off of my own personal list of unpleasant childhood experiences.  If you were fortunate, social services came to your rescue; administered comprehensive mental treatment; kissed all your boo boos and helped to take the pain away. I didn’t have that type of idyllic childhood filled with psychologists and positive thinking.