Have you heard this pathetic line during a breakup? “I really love you/like you but we can’t be together anymore. But you are going to make someone a wonderful wife.” Like this statement is some parting gift that will soothe the wound of embarrassment and loss planted into your breaking heart.

I’m a hopeless romantic. So I used to believe this hopeless crock of Sugar-Honey-Iced-Tea running loosely from the mouths of my former boyfriends. Now that my husband has helped me to heal my broken heart, 1 million times over, I can see the meaning of these words clearly.

These men were trying to help themselves ease any discomfort associated with the breakup. Discomfort not pain. I was hurt. They weren’t.

Rather than tell me the truth about our relationships, a few of my former paramours decided to use this classic line to dump me. This statement kept me in the dark, but moved them closer to the light of freedom from me.

At the time, I was in touch with my pain. Most doormats are. So I could have handled the truth. Instead of telling me “the wonderful wife line”, I would have preferred:

“Mechele, I don’t want to marry you because we don’t have a future together.”

“Mechele, we’re in college. I’m just having a good time.”

And the classic line…

“Mechele, my mother thinks that we are getting too serious. So I’m breaking up with you over the telephone. Oh yeah, by the way, you are going to make someone a wonderful wife.”

Wait a minute. That phone break up situation wasn’t make-believe. It really happened. Yep. I actually had a boy break-up with me over the phone, on his way to the airport. He told me his mother thought there was no future for us together.

Although he was a spineless wienie, who couldn’t make a move without talking to his mommie dearest, at least he told me the truth. He actually did me a favor.

In my house, the wife comes first, the mother is a close second. So if we had dated one second longer or even married, I would have had to battle his mother, for his attention. This push and pull, tug-of-war, between she and I, would have been a nightmare for him and our relationship.

When I was a clueless doormat, I truly believed these words. And I’m glad that I did. Because when my loving husband found me, I knew that this line about making someone a wonderful wife could actually be true.

So ladies, if another man tells you this line when he’s breaking up with you, embrace these positive words. The man of your dreams does exist. He’s waiting for you to get out of the doomed relationship you’re currently in and live happily ever after.

Well, at least for the first year or two of your marriage.

Live well and love yourself,

Mechele