“If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands…”The premise of this call and response ditty is to check for happiness in the singer.

But is the pursuit of happiness as simple as moving your body to the beat of a childhood song? If so our workplaces and homes would be filled with throngs of people singing and clapping to drown out their discontent.

As a girl who  sang every song on Prince’s “When Dove’s Cry” album in the 8th grade to kick sadness out of her life, music can be the change agent to drive away the blues and turn your sad frown upside down.

Regret is a powerful emotion.

Its roots are in the past, but if the regret is unmonitored, this residue of unhappiness will direct and affect every step you take in the future. As the emotion that bubbles to the surface of your psyche, during the aftermath of a broken heart, regret makes you want to change the past which is not only daunting, but impossible.

However, I do have a mend-your-broken-heart-solution. As a young 18 year old girl, I was fortunate to learn a powerful phrase from a wise educator in Atlanta that forever helped me to reconcile my past, forgive others and move on.

If there is one life-changing thing that I would tell my 18 year old self, it would be the following: “Honey, whatever you are willing to accept in life is what you get.”

That’s right ladies; everything you have or don’t have is based upon what you are tolerating.

No more blaming others for your shortcomings.

No more whining and complaining about any lack in your life.

No more saying to yourself that you can’t find a good man, good job or good pair of sexy stilettos that don’t hurt your feet. (Well,  I’m still working on the comfortable high heel situation myself.)

I am a relentless optimist. I think this one character trait has prevented me from slashing a few sets of tires belonging to the cars of a few former females that I thought were my friends; putting sugar in my ex’s tanks and participating in all matters of destructive behavior unbecoming to a lady.

How do I maintain this level of restraint and forgiveness? I learned it as a child.

As a child I discovered quickly, that I am not only the sum total of all my experiences, but how I respond to adversity and pain is more important that the adversity itself.

“If you are listening to someone else complain and focusing on sympathizing with them, and agreeing with them in that moment, you are attracting more situations to yourself to complain about.”- The Secret

Think thoughts filled with complaints aren’t contagious? Think again. Words are powerful forces of energy, with the power to uplift or damage the speaker and the hearer.

Whoever said sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me…is a liar and should be burned at the stake.  Although an affirmative thought is 100 times more powerful than a negative one, a negative complaint spreads faster and does more damage than its positive counterpart. Why? Because we don’t realize that most of our daily communication is filled with complaints and we’re conditioned to respond quickly to bad more so than good.