Can’t shake the feelings of excitement when Mr. Player President calls you or the heart-palpitating make up sex after your fights? Addicted to the mixture of enjoyment and embarrassment you receive as the “booty call girl” on speed dial?

Girlfriend, I hear you loud and clear.

Maybe you didn’t have an example of a positive male and female relationship in your home. Or find yourself unconsciously attracted to all types of bad boy shenanigans. I can relate to your dating dilemmas.

Been there. Done that. Got the T-Shirt. And threw the T-shirt in the GARBAGE.

I used to think that the day a man told me he loved me; it meant that our love was here to stay. (Can’t you hear the orchestra playing and Ella Fitzgerald singing as you read this?)

Throughout the course of my almost 40 years of living on this earth, I’ve heard these three words whispered in my ears so sweetly by the men in my life.,“I love you Mechele.”

In which I would quickly and ceremoniously respond to their empty words, I love you too… J, the narcissistic, ego maniacal and pimp in the pulpit preacher, T, the sarcastic and condescending pseudo-Renaissance man and S the know-it-all, game-playing medical doctor.

In other words are you consistently begging for someone else’s love or friendship and expecting little or nothing in return? Well, if you are… you’re begging for attention crumbs. 

Often women with low self-worth accept a portion of friendship and love (otherwise referred to by me as crumbs of attention) instead of demanding the whole respectful slice of bread from their group of friends, family or potential suitors.

It’s hard for a girl to recognize sometimes if she is starved for attention, so here is my handy guide to determine if you feigning desperation unconsciously.

Have you heard this pathetic line during a breakup? “I really love you/like you but we can’t be together anymore. But you are going to make someone a wonderful wife.” Like this statement is some parting gift that will soothe the wound of embarrassment and loss planted into your breaking heart.

I’m a hopeless romantic. So I used to believe this hopeless crock of Sugar-Honey-Iced-Tea running loosely from the mouths of my former boyfriends. Now that my husband has helped me to heal my broken heart, 1 million times over, I can see the meaning of these words clearly.